Thursday, June 11, 2009
Adjustments and renewals
For years my mother had kept the peace, and the past year had been stressful, but from the time my father had stopped drinking 6 or 7 months before his death, her days with him had become sweet and companionable.
Such was the irony of the peace and loneliness she felt in his absence.
I called her often just to keep her company. And she came for prolonged visits, which we all enjoyed. And she enjoyed her grandchildren and singing with John at night while they did the dishes together.
We watched August evaporate and looked forward to the first days of school, then the first fall colors.
And all the while I thought about my sister, whose baby was due in 6 months, then 5. And I began to believe again that I could have a baby, too. No matter how discouraging the doctor had been.
The thought brought a bright smile to my inner person. It felt right and good, and I was willing to give it a try.
I felt renewed. The experience of my father's death might be the beginnings of a new life.